7 delightful surprises about life

Saturday 7th September marked the one year anniversary of me giving up my home in the UK and most of my worldly goods to live as a nomad - travelling the world as I write my books.

It also turned out to be my son’s wedding day in Ukraine - something I never could have foreseen happening when I set off on my travels but the most wonderful climax to a year that has been full of delightful surprises.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all has been how much I have loved this life of solo travel. When I first set out last September I only booked trips up until December just in case I ended up hating not having a home.

I started with a month in Paris - which I knew would be a safe way to begin my adventure as it’s one of my favourite places in the world - then I took the train to Provence for another month, experiencing life in rural France for the first time, which I loved and I made some great new friends with Irish and American ex-pats living there.

starting my solo travel adventure strong - with a Paris crepe

Then came another pretty safe bet - a 5 week stay in one of my favourite places in America, a quirky, colourful town in the Ozarks in Arkansas called Eureka Springs, which also included a flying visit to my cousin in Tulsa for Thanksgiving and two weeks at a Writers’ Colony, meeting and making friends with other writers from all over America.

By the time I returned to the UK for Christmas I knew that I wouldn’t be coming back for good. To my surprise, rather than feeling insecure at the fact that I no longer had a home, I felt light and free.

And as I’ve been reflecting on my year of solo travel this week it occurred to me that most of the delightful surprises I’ve experienced could be useful to share with you - because they’re not unique to travel and could apply to anyone, in any situation.

So, without further ado, allow me to present my 7 Delightful Surprises About Life to you! I hope they resonate and inspire you…

Surprise #1: Your body is the best compass

The year before I made the decision to go travelling was one of the unhappiest of my life. I’d taken on a job (in addition to my book writing) that I ended up hating and I was suffering from burnout, I’d moved to a town during the pandemic that I’d also ended up hating, and I felt a real lack of direction and purpose. I felt so flat during that year, like I was just going through the motions. It was only when I ended up going on a surprise trip to Jamaica with my friend that I was jolted from my gloom. As we headed up into the mountains to stay at a farm owned by Rastas and have a truly authentic Jamaican experience I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she says, ‘Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.’ After 3 years of going nowhere due to the pandemic, it reminded me how much I loved to travel and meet new people. I felt alive again - and even better, I started to remember who I truly was. I no longer felt numb and flat - my body fizzed with energy and the sweet sensation of freedom. When I got back to the UK I started making decisions based around replicating these feelings and I steered away from anything that brought the flatness back. I used my body and how it felt as a compass to guide me - rather than listening to any fearful thoughts my mind might throw up - and eventually it guided me to leave the UK to travel full time. Whenever you’re unsure what to do, I recommend you use your feelings to guide you and follow the things make you feel light and free and happy, rather than listening to your inner voice of fear.

Surprise #2: You’re braver than you think

The most common reaction I get when I tell people about my life of solo travel is, ‘You’re so brave!’ and it always takes me a bit by surprise as I honestly haven’t felt the need to be brave very much at all on my travels - apart from recently when I experienced Russian air strikes in Lviv. The bravest thing about my year of solo travel was the decision to do it in the first place and plucking up the courage to go against the grain and do something different, like giving up my home and possessions. A wonderful surprise from this past year has been the realisation that we are so much braver than we might think, and that putting ourselves in situations that put our bravery to the test can be so incredibly empowering. So if there’s something you’ve been putting off due to fear, I challenge you to take the plunge and go for it. It could lead to something truly magical.

Surprise #3: It’s great to be different

And speaking of going against the grain, I’ve learned that there can be such a sweet feeling of freedom and empowerment in doing something different to the norm. As kids we’re conditioned into believing that being different is ‘weird’ or ‘wrong’ or something to be mocked. But my god, being  so-called normal can be so effing boring! We’re not in the playground anymore. We don’t have to worry about being bullied for being a maverick. In fact, our lives can be so much richer if we actively embrace being weird and wonderful. I love seeing the look of surprise on a person’s face when I tell them how I’m living. And I love gently challenging any preconceived ideas they might have - such as reassuring them that no, I don’t miss having a home and a load of possessions, and no, travelling solo does not make me lonely.

Surprise #4: Going solo is so enriching

Which brings me on to my next delightful surprise - solo travel and spending time in my own company has been so enriching. In fact, I’ve felt way less lonely since I’ve been solo travelling than I did in my last year in the UK. Yes, I’ve spent a lot of time on my own - but that time has felt rich with new experiences, places and adventures, which in turn have led to many wonderful new friendships all around the globe. 

Surprise #5: Living a life that lights you up creates a beacon for new friends

I’ve read articles online talking about how hard it can be to make new friends as you get older but since I’ve been travelling, to my delightful surprise, I’ve found the opposite to be true. The other night, I was sitting in my apartment in Lviv and within the space of 15 minutes my phone pinged with voice notes and messages from friends in America, France, Rome and Portugal. It was only as I was replying to them that it occurred to me that these were all friends I’d made on my travels, and I’ve made many more in other countries. When I stop to think about why this might be, I'm pretty certain it’s because I’m now living a life that lights me up and this light forms a beacon for new friends and kindred spirits to find me. And I feel certain that the same can be true for you too. Find things that make your soul sing and you will attract new people to you.

Surprise #6: We need a lot less than we think

Whenever I moved house before I went travelling - and I moved quite a lot - I would always find it hard to have a clear out and get rid of any of my things. Sometimes, I’d have quite a ruthless cull, only to find myself an hour or two later, trawling through the bin-liners destined for the dump or the charity shop, to retrieve a random ornament / cherished memento that I hadn’t actually looked at for ten years / article of clothing that I hadn’t ever worn, just in case. Making the decision to give up my home, and not wanting to spend of fortune on keeping things in storage meant that I had to be ruthless and in the end I whittled the things I couldn’t bear to be parted with down to one suitcase and couple of bags full, which are now in my mum’s loft. The delightful surprise about this exercise has been the realisation that I hardly need any ‘stuff’ in order to be happy. In fact, having next to nothing has made me feel so much lighter. I’m not suggesting that you whittle all of your worldly goods down to a suitcase or two but if you would like to feel a little lighter as you travel through your life I would highly recommend a good clear out. Also, give ‘Swedish Death Cleaning’ a google. I promise it’s not as grim as it sounds!

Surprise #7: Wherever you lay your heart, that’s your home

My last and most delightful surprise of all has been the realisation that, although I might not have a permanent home right now, I’ve been able to make wherever I've landed in the past year feel like home. I have a small collection of mementos that I’ve been gifted on my travels that fit into the inner pocket of my backpack, plus a little Buddha that my dad gifted me before I set off, that I set up as soon as I arrive at my new Airbnb or hotel. Anytime I look at them I feel the warmth that comes with the memories they conjure - memories of loved ones and new friends and places.

a doll I was gifted in Ukraine

I also stick to my normal early morning routine wherever I am - meditation, yoga, ten minutes (or more) of dancing, shower, journal, breakfast - and this feels incredibly grounding, even if I end up having to do yoga on a towel crammed into the corner of an economy hotel room! I also make it my mission to discover a favourite coffee shop where I can go and write in each new place I visit (I’m writing this to you in my favourite coffee shop in Stockholm). I know that in these unsettled times globally a lot of people are experiencing insecurity around where they live - or where they can afford to live. As someone who has spent the vast majority of this past year living in a variety of single rooms and studio apartments I hope that reading this reassures you. By making your heart, and the loved ones who reside inside it, your home, you’ll always have an inner source of love and security.

Until next week, when I’ll be back in Paris, and back to the place my solo travel adventures began, I hope your week is full of delightful surprises.

Siobhan