All the best things are scary at first

I was on a first date with the man who would become my (wonderful) partner for seven years and to this day remains one of my very best friends.

We had gone for an early evening drink and the conversation kept flowing and flowing until suddenly the barman was ringing the bell for last orders. I remember being very resentful of that bell for calling time on such a great evening. And clearly my date was similarly reluctant for our evening to end because he looked at me and uttered the immortal line: ‘Can I show you a grave in the cemetery across the road?’

Now I’m aware that taken out of context, this might sound like a slightly creepy thing to say at the end of a first date - or perhaps any date - but during the course of our lengthy conversation we’d discovered a shared love of history and the grave he wanted to show me had some kind of great historical significance (a lot of wine had been consumed by that point so I’m afraid I can’t remember what it was!)

I jumped at the chance to keep our magical evening going so I followed him out of the pub and into the graveyard across the road (a line straight out of a gothic horror story if ever I heard one).

We followed an overgrown path through the cemetery until we arrived at a jagged, crumbling gravestone. A huge full moon cast its eerie glow through the branches of the trees and from somewhere in the distance came the hoot of an owl (just trying to build the gothic horror vibes). 

As my date told me the history behind the grave I became aware that he seemed a little nervous, as was I. The cold night air had sobered us up a little and the reality of the situation was hitting home. It was that nerve-wracking moment at the end of a first date when you’re both wondering what the other person is thinking and if they want to see you again - and we were doing it in the middle of a pitch dark graveyard. 

‘This has been great,’ he said.

‘Yes, really great,’ I replied, willing him to say that he’d like us to go out again.

‘I was wondering,’ he continued, stretching his arm up to lean on a low hanging branch.

‘Yes?’ I looked at him eagerly.

An almighty cracking sound pierced the silence and the next thing I knew something was crashing down on my head.

The branch he’d been leaning on was crashing down on my head!

Stars spiralled before my eyes and I was aware of his voice, a little faint and fuzzy, saying, ‘Oh shit, are you OK?’

It turned out that the tree was almost as old as the gravestone it stood beside and the branch had given way beneath the weight of his arm.

And that is how I ended up going back to his place on the night of our first date.

Not for any romantic shenanigans but in case I had a concussion and was at risk of dying in my sleep.

Thankfully I didn’t and as I said at the start of all this, we ended up having a wonderful relationship. I still like to joke with him about how he might want to work on his technique for wooing the ladies though.

But in all seriousness I’m sharing this story with you because I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how the best things in life are always scary at first. 

Coming to a small town in America where I didn’t know a soul for a month on my own has been the perfect example of this. 

The first day I was here was a little bit scary. I didn’t really know where anything was and the first time I attempted to walk downtown I got very lost. But fast forward four weeks and I’m powering around the place, not even having to think about which turnings to take.

The first time I ate lunch in what has become my favourite cafe I felt a little anxious at asking for my table for one.

Fast forward two weeks and I’ve made friends with one of the servers and another local woman who’s a regular in the cafe, and the last time I had lunch there I sat with her at the bar, where all the locals eat. I also left with a gift of two freshly baked muffins courtesy of my server friend.

The first time I met with a local writer a librarian had put me in touch with I felt those first friend-date nerves, really hoping that she’d like me.

Fast forward two weeks and we’ve been on two hikes together, I’ve been to a meeting of her writers group and tonight she’s taking me to a book launch event in a nearby city.

The first time I met the guy who lives across the road from the airbnb I’ve been staying in I felt a little apprehensive as I’d learned by then that a lot of locals are annoyed at so many properties being turned into holiday rentals. As we got chatting he told me that he and his wife own a  bakery. ‘Do you like baked goods?’ he asked. Er, hello! ‘Yes, yes I do,’ I replied. ‘Wait there,’ he said, disappearing inside his house to return with a freshly baked cookie the size of a dinner plate.

So delicious I had to take a bite before photographing!

Everything I’ve done on this trip that has felt scary at first has ended up being wonderful - and often with a surprise bonus gift of baked goods! It’s been a powerful and much needed reminder of the magic that can happen when we dare ourselves to overcome our fear. I hope that by sharing these little tales with you it inspires you to step out of your own comfort zone.

If you need some added inspiration try making a list of some of the things you’ve done in the past that were scary at first but ended up changing your life for the better. OR, write a list of all the best things in your life and track them back to the very beginning. Chances are they began with at least a sprinkling of nerves or fear.

Until next week, here’s to daring to dream and do!

Siobhan