Being different is a superpower not a flaw

‘What … in the name of God … have you done to your hair?’ My dad stared at me, open-mouthed from his armchair.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ 14-year-old me replied sullenly.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ he cried. ‘What’s wrong with it???’

When I’d left the house for my friend’s place that morning I had mousy brown, shoulder-length hair in a fairly nondescript style. By the time I returned I’d dyed my hair a delightful shade of blackcurrant, shaved both sides off and…

‘And what in the name of God is that thing at the back?’ my dad asked, horrified.

… and I’d got my friend to leave a long thin strand of hair in the middle when she cut the back short.

‘It’s a rat’s tail,’ I snapped.

It was the 1980s and the brief window in time where having a ‘rat’s tail’ draped down your back was all the rage. But so were luminous legwarmers and rar-ra skirts. Looking back, I think we all might have been having a collective fashion breakdown in the Eighties.

‘Jesus,’ my dad muttered, disappearing behind his newspaper.

I stomped upstairs to my room, no doubt muttering something under my breath about parents just not understanding ANYTHING!

To give him credit though, my dad didn’t ever demand that I changed how I looked. He never tried to stop any of the ways in which I was different.

When I became consumed with a burning need to try and change the world for the better - also at age 14 - he encouraged me in my endeavours. When I went on CND and anti Apartheid marches he showed an active interest. When I started collecting money for the striking miners in my local London high street and had posh people yelling at me to ‘go back to Russia, you communist!’ my dad would play me protest songs to lift my flagging spirits.

In a world in which we’re taught that there’s a ‘right’ and ‘good’ way to do things - namely to all be and look the same and not rock the boat - it can be really hard if you don’t fit the mould. 

Can you relate?

And have you ever had moments where you wish you did fit in more because it would make life so much easier?

I had one of those moments this week, as I reached the point in my bid to get rid of most of my worldly goods (to go travelling) where I feel like I’ve been clearing stuff forever and yet there’s still so much to do.

What’s wrong with you? I found myself thinking as I collapsed in an exhausted heap on my bed. Why can’t you just be happy with settling in one place like everyone else? Why do you always end up feeling the need for change?

It was a bit of a crappy moment to be honest, and reminiscent of times in my teens when I was teased for being so political or having ‘weird’ hair. There were moments then when I felt like there was something wrong with me for being the way I was.

But just because you’re different it doesn’t mean you’re flawed.

This morning I woke up to a link a friend sent me with the following quote from Greta Thunberg:

“I have Asperger’s and that means I’m different. At school I was always alone, without friends, I sat in a corner. Still at home sick eating disorder. It’s all gone now because I figured out where my path is. I’m not the angry little girl who screams in front of world leaders, I’m not how some media portray me to be, I’m a shy studious girl, a nerd who cares about the present and future of the planet and therefore my own. I have found purpose in a world that often seems empty and meaningless to so many people. When haters get offended by your looks and your different it means they don’t know where to go. And you know you’re winning.”

When I was in Stockholm recently the one place I wanted to see more than any other - even more than all the stores selling tributes to my childhood hero, Pippi Longstocking, or the bakeries with their trays of delicious cinnamon and cardamom buns - was the place outside the Swedish parliament building where Greta Thunberg used to go and protest about climate change as a school girl.

Where Greta used to sit and protest, whilst doing her school homework

As I stood by that place and imagined her there I was so full of awe that one girl should have achieved so much. Her difference to the norm doesn't make her ‘wrong’ or flawed - it’s a frickin’ super-power!

And reading that quote about her finding purpose and peace because of the way she’s different made me so happy for her. And for me too.

I vowed there and then to celebrate the things that are different about me instead of berating myself about them…

• My passion for trying to make the world a better place has ended up working its way into many books and articles and talks.

• My hatred of corporate life has led to me carving out a successful 23 year self-employed career.

• My restless nature and need for regular change has led to me getting to know lots of great people and places around the world, and given me so many wonderful memories - and will continue to do so!

I hope this week’s WONDERSTRUCK has given you some food for thought.

How are your differences your superpowers? How have they changed your life for the better? Or how could they? How could you celebrate them more?

Until next week, here’s to being unapologetically true to ourselves.

Siobhan

My new novel, The Storyteller of Auschwitz, a tribute to the power of storytelling as an act of resistance, inspiration and remembrance, is available to pre-order on Amazon now. You can find out more here. Huge thanks to anyone who pre-orders a copy, this book is so close to my heart and I feel so passionately about the subject matter, I really appreciate it.