Beneath a broken sky
musings from my trip to Ukraine
I’m just back from a week in Ukraine - where my son now lives and works - and to say it was an intense experience would be a definite understatement.
Ever since the war started, there have been no domestic flights in or out of Ukraine so I had to fly to Slovakia and get a coach across the border. As I’m sure you can imagine, crossing into a country that’s at war is a surreal experience. It took almost three hours for the coach I was on to move the few hundred yards from the Slovakian side of the border and clear the military checkpoint on the Ukrainian side. It happened in the dead of night too, which only made it feel all the more powerful.
At around midnight heavily armed soldiers boarded the bus and demanded to see our passports and I felt as if I was in a movie. But of course what’s happening in Ukraine isn’t a film, it’s very, very real, and experiencing a small taster of what the Ukrainian people have been living through for over 500 days was a sobering experience.
I arrived in my son’s town at around 1am and as we hugged hello, he told me that rumours were rife that Putin was going to bomb a nuclear power plant that night - the equivalent of dropping a nuclear bomb.
I imagine that we all carry a latent fear of nuclear disaster but this was the first time in my life I had to try and get my head around the fact that it might be about to happen for real.
Thankfully, it didn’t, but the following night I experienced my first air raid alert, with the sirens wrenching us from sleep. As I lay in bed listening to the wail I reassured myself that we were in a relatively safe part of the country and that it would all be OK. But in the morning I discovered that some apartment buildings in the nearby city of Lviv had been bombed and innocent civilians were killed in their sleep. Lviv was meant to be a safe place too - my son and I had talked about going there during my stay. He’d been there for work just a couple of weeks previously. Many Ukrainians who have been displaced due to the Russian invasion have sought refuge there.
After that it was impossible to feel fully relaxed at night and for the first time ever, I found myself feeling afraid of the sky - or what might come out of it at least - and that was a very surreal and unsettling feeling.
Here’s what I wrote in my journal a couple of nights later…
‘It’s 9.36pm and I’m sitting on my bed gazing out across the balcony at the thick bank of dark green treetops in the park across the street. Wisps of bluey white smoke from the barbecue restaurant perfume the air with a sweet, woody aroma. I can hear a band somewhere in the distance playing rock music and the birds chirp along as they sing their dusk chorus. It’s a perfect balmy summer’s evening. But then I remember that at any moment the air raid siren could go off, slicing through the tranquility. And I remember that not too far from here men and women are fighting to protect this country and to win back the land that was stolen from them. And it dawns on me that somewhere in Ukraine will probably be bombed tonight; that right now people are preparing for a sleep they might never wake from. The sky is streaked tangerine and pink from a glorious sunset but I’m unable to appreciate its beauty. All I can think of are the bombs and drones that might later rain down from it.’
I feel like these journal musings perfectly encapsulate the bittersweet experience I had in Ukraine. The country is beautiful, full of stunning architecture, lush forests, mountains and lavender fields. The people I met were warm and friendly and so inspiring as they try their hardest to get on with their lives, but they’re under so much pressure.
One of my son’s Ukrainian friends - a woman in her 20s - told me how her father has been away fighting on the front line since last year. One day he saw a garden full of beautiful tulips in bloom. Her mother is a great lover of flowers so he asked the owner of the garden if he could buy some of the tulip bulbs from her, which he then sent home to his wife to plant in their garden. ‘Now when we look at those tulips, we feel connected to him,’ my son’s friend told me.
Her story really touched me, and brought home to me the personal sacrifices people are making in order to defend their country.
I got back to the UK late on Tuesday night and as I sat on the train home I looked up at the sky and felt a surge of relief that I no longer had to fear what might rain down from it. And then my eyes immediately filled with tears at the thought that the Ukrainian people don’t have this luxury. That for them, the sky is still broken and something to fear.
New book news…
It feels hugely poignant that on Thursday, two days after getting back from Ukraine, my latest World War 2 novel, The Storyteller of Auschwitz, was published. The novel is a tribute to the power of storytelling as an act of resistance, remembrance and inspiration in even the hardest of times. After experiencing a tiny taster of what it’s like to live in a country that has been invaded and is at war I feel even more passionately about the message behind the book and I would love it if you would consider ordering a copy.
The Storyteller of Auschwitz is available in digital, paperback and audio on Amazon and Audible and you can find out more and order a copy here. Here’s what some early reviewers have had to say…
‘From the very first page of this book I was hooked… This story had me ugly crying… an emotional rollercoaster… I read this book cover to cover in under 24 hours… One of the most powerful books I have read.’ @thebookreadingblonde,⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Hands down the best historical fiction book I’ve read… An absolutely amazing, captivating novel… A heart-breaking, moving story that will not only have you crying with the horror that took place but laughing at the stories told. I loved… I wish I could give this book more than 5 stars.’ Goodreads reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘By far the best book I have read in years… From the moment I started this book until I finished it, I was hooked. Tears streamed down my face through most of this story… This book is a must-read for everyone! This book will stay in my heart forever.’ Goodreads reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Grabbed my heart from the first page and never let go. Tears flooded my eyes and an ache throbbed inside my heart…This novel moved me deeply… gut-wrenching… amazing… A precious gift that kept giving… Magnificent… left me breathless, mesmerised and inspired… Unforgettable. Worth far more than 5 stars.’ Goodreads reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Wow, did I feel this book… had me laughing and crying within pages of each other, I couldn’t put this down. Gripped me from the first chapter, so I finished this within 24 hours of starting it.’ @thebookreadingbrunette,⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
‘Gosh this book. Both beautiful and heart-wrenching. It left me with tears in my eyes. One of the most powerful books I have ever read. I would give it more stars if I could.’ Goodreads reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Your post brought me to tears, so poignantly and beautifully written. You bring us there with you. And I thought how ironic, as we write about WWII, waiting for things to fall from the sky now, as it was then for at least five years. May peace prevail!