‘Hey, Mum, did I tell you how I got stranded in a Hungarian village in the middle of nowhere with a Russian nightclub dancer?’
So began my latest phone call from my son in Ukraine. (If you’re new to Wonderstruck you can find out more about why my son is in Ukraine here.)
‘Er, no, son, I think I would have remembered you telling me that!’ I replied with a grin.
He then proceeded to explain and it was a great tale - after that opening how could it not be?!
In a nutshell, he had been en route to a training course in Ethiopia, via Hungary and Egypt, when he’d met said dancer, after the train they were on was taken out of service and they had to wait for a bus replacement.
His phone call could not have come at a better time for me.
You see, this past week, I’ve been feeling THE FEAR big time.
Fear about giving up my home in the UK to go travelling.
Fear that my writing career would suddenly go horribly wrong.
Fear that I'd run out of money.
Fear that I’d end up homeless.
It was a similar set of fears that stopped me from pursuing my dream of going travelling in my early 20s. And I don’t regret playing it safe back then at all because by staying in the UK, I ended up having my son.
So there’s something very sweet about the fact that he has ended up being such a free spirit and is thriving in his new globe-trotting role.
‘Thank you so much for telling me this, mate,’ I said at the end of our phone chat. ‘You have no idea how much I needed to hear that you ended up stranded in a Hungarian village with a Russian nightclub dancer!’
I needed to hear it because I needed to be reminded of the cool people you meet and the amazing adventures that happen once you summon the courage to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
During the past few months I’ve been lucky enough to have done a lot of travelling. Since last October I’ve been to Jamaica, Norway, America, Sweden and Paris and I’ve met some incredible people and had experiences that I’ll treasure and remember for the rest of my life.
This is why I want to bite the bullet and leave the UK - I’m craving more new people and new adventures.
But the fear is real too. And it occurred to me that, although we all have different hopes and dreams, we can all become paralysed by fear and at the last moment, turn our back on risk and take the sensible route.
So, if you can relate, here are 3 things that have helped me overcome my fear this week…
Number One: Ask yourself, is your worst fear really true?
When I stopped to ask myself if I’d really, truly end up homeless if my career and travel plans went wrong I knew the answer was a resounding no. Many friends have already told me that I’m welcome to crash at theirs if I should need to. And I know from past experience that I won’t run out of money because I’m a grafter. As a single mum I juggled about six different jobs for many years to keep a roof over our heads. If things went wrong with my writing I’d rise to the challenge and figure out a new source of income, simple as.
Number Two: Have you succeeded in something similar before?
Sometimes we can forget that we’ve actually done the thing we’re scared of failing in before, or something similar at least. When I’ve had fears this week about rocking up in a new country where I know no-one and how I’ll cope, I've reminded myself that I’ve moved to new parts of the UK where I’ve known no-one several times in my life and I've loved it. So there’s absolutely no reason why I can’t also love it and make new friends when I move to new places internationally.
Number Three: Focus on the end feeling
I love this one and it’s something I’m planning on doing a lot more before I leave the UK. Every day I make sure I spend some time visualising the life I want to create for myself. Dreaming of the places I’ll go and the things I’ll see and the people I’ll meet and most importantly, focusing on how it will make me feel. Any time I travel anywhere I come alive and feel completely and utterly free. I feel completely and utterly me. And I’m seeing the same thing happen to my son, which is why I love it when he calls me. His zest for life experience is infectious.
Whatever you might be afraid of doing right now, I hope this has helped in some way. And if you have any fear-busting tips of your own you’d like to share, please feel free to add them in the comments.
It’s impossible to live life free from fear but here’s to letting our passions and our dreams take the driving seat.
Until next week…
Siobhan
As always Siobhan another Sunday starts with a glimpse into your mind.
I have always been the type of person that loves travelling, and most of my travels prior to getting married were solo trips.
I have always loved that feeling of having my bags packed and just opening myself up to that familiar pull of a new journey, the start of a new adventure, the whole unknown of a new place, new faces, new foods.
Most of the time we are our own worst enemy, we talk ourselves into staying in familiar places with the same safe circle of friends then at some point look back and totally regret that decision.
Home, friends etc will be there when you return from your journey and as important as these things are in life the chance to go somewhere different should never just be overlooked.
The world is a big, beautiful place. If you get the chance and you can do it…. Be careful, have fun and take plenty of photos!.
Morning Siobhan
Thanks for reminder to focus on future positives, it's easy to get dragged down into what ifs, and half empty glasses. I'm having a two week break in Canada in September by myself. I'm on a fitness regime, but forgotten the essential visualisation