Grit, graft and gratitude

Manifestation: it’s a word that gets bandied around a lot these days, with many an online influencer waxing lyrical about how you can ‘like, manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams, if you just like, raise your vibration, and visualise your like, perfect outcome.’ Oh, and it also helps if you buy their course / workshop on the subject for ‘just £1,997, normally valued at £10,000.’ I’m not sure who values these outrageously priced courses of theirs, I’m thinking it’s probably their mum.

Anyway, a friend and I were talking about the whole manifestation craze the other week, and how unfair it is on people who haven’t been born into a charmed, well off life. My friend and I both grew up with very little and we were also single mums for many years. We’ve had to graft long and hard to achieve our dreams and we never had thousands of £s to spend on manifestation - or any other kind of - courses.

We had to keep a roof over our kids’ heads which meant years spent in jobs we didn’t exactly love.

For me personally, I spent many years commuting into London, spending 4-5 hours on a train every day, then coming home exhausted to make the dinner and packed lunches, help with homework and be mum.

I had to work on my dream of being a published author on my one day off and at the weekends.

There were many days when I was so tired I felt like giving up on the dream but I wanted it so badly I kept going. I kept writing every chance I could. And slowly but surely my books were published.

The other night I watched the first episode of the Beckham documentary on Netflix. In it, David Beckham talks about how he hardly ever went out with friends when he was a kid. ‘I knew that if I wanted to be a professional footballer I’d have to work really hard,’ he says. So instead of going out he practised, practised, practised. He wanted his dream so badly he was prepared to put in years of long hard graft in order to achieve it. And I think it’s safe to say that it really paid off!

It can be really dispiriting when you see people online, who were already born into a life of privilege, talking about the manifestation of dreams in airy fairy terms like ‘belief’ and ‘visualisation’ and promising almost instant success - if you just make a frickin’ vision board and spend all your life savings on their webinar, coaching sessions or course.

Yes, visualisation and a positive attitude can be important components, but for most of us, if we want to change our life dramatically for the better, it takes hard graft, and often over a period of years.

If I were doing an online course on how to manifest your dreams I’d probably call it GRIT, GRAFT & GRATITUDE, because these were (and are) the 3 major components behind any success I’ve had.

The grit to keep going over the long haul.

Grafting away at my dream any chance I could.

All the while focusing on gratitude for what I already had in order to stay positive.

And just so you know, when I do offer online courses (and I have a couple in the pipeline for next year) I will never, ever, charge £1,997, normally valued at £10,000 according to my mum.

My new dream in life is to offer online courses crammed full of information, tips and advice drawn from actual real life experience that will be affordable for everyone!

So, if you’re currently working on a dream and wondering if it will ever come to fruition, keep going and keep grafting.

And watch the first episode of Beckham on Netflix.

And read Rising Strong by Brene Brown.

And choose a theme tune or create a playlist designed to keep you fired up and focused - when I was a single mum trying to make it as a writer I had Lose Yourself by Eminem on constant repeat!

This week I started a two week residency at a Writers Colony here in America. For those of you not familiar with writers colonies - and I wasn’t before coming to the US - they’re essentially places for writers to come and stay in order to focus solely on their writing.

They’re slightly different to a writers’ retreat, as there are no organised classes or workshops. Each writer has their own cabin or studio apartment to hole away and write in, and then you come together in the evenings for a meal.

It’s been 23 years since my first book was published, and in that time I’ve written almost 50 books. And I have never been on a writers’ retreat or stayed in a writers’ colony. 

It always seemed like way too much of a luxury, and as a single parent I couldn’t justify spending money on going away to write, when I could do it at the kitchen table for free.

But now, as you will know if you’re a regular reader of Wonderstruck, my son has flown the nest, and so have I!

And as I no longer have a home to pay rent and bills on, I can finally afford to come and stay here.

my writing desk for the next two weeks

It’s taken me twenty-three years.

TWENTY-THREE YEARS!!

And as I sit here at my desk, looking out at the trees, it feels so frickin’ sweet.

Because here’s the thing… the longer it takes to achieve a dream, the more amazing it feels when it finally comes true.

So hold onto that thought, and keep finding the grit to keep going and keep grafting. You can do it!

Until next week

Siobhan