Is it time to leave your comfort zone
When you hear the word comfort what do you think of?
I think of warm, fuzzy blankets, a mug of creamy hot chocolate, and a fleece-covered hot water bottle (can you tell we’re having a freezing winter here in the UK?!)
The Oxford Dictionary defines comfort as: ‘a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint’ and ‘the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.’
So, when we talk about a person’s ‘comfort zone’, the implication is that it’s a beautiful safe place, free from pain.
But it’s come to my attention recently that our comfort zone can actually be … a bit shit.
Let me give you an example from my own life.
During the pandemic, like most other people, my home became my comfort zone. Due to lockdowns and fear of the virus we were all forced to retreat.
I had to stop doing my in-person author talks and workshops and, as a bit of a technophobe, I resisted the drive to take my events online via zoom.
I retreated into a comfort zone of writing, writing, writing. And although writing is my life’s passion, doing nothing but writing was obviously a little isolating.
In the UK we were told we could only see a limited number of people – our ‘covid bubble’ – so my human comfort zone shrank down to my son and my then boyfriend. And while I am so, so grateful to have had their companionship through that time, I could feel my social skills shrinking along with my social life.
Fast forward to this year, where in the UK, life has pretty much returned to normal in terms of covid restrictions being lifted, and I’ve had the growing realisation that what worked pretty well as a comfort zone during the pandemic was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
I missed seeing people. I missed travel. I missed running workshops and giving talks.
But the trouble with comfort zones is that they can become a bit of a straitjacket without you even realising. At first you’re all, oh I love how snug and secure this feels, but then you feel the urge to stretch a little and you realise that the sleeves have been tied behind your back.
So, what is the point to all this, I hear you ask.
The point is, we need to stop for a minute and examine the comfort zones we’ve created and ask ourselves the question: Is this genuinely helping me to stay safe and free from pain, or is it a straitjacket in disguise?
It could be that right now your comfort zone is genuinely helping, in which case, enjoy the feeling of safety it brings. But if, like me, you realise that it’s actually starting to hurt a little, it’s time to take a deep breath and take a tentative step into your courage zone.
This doesn’t need to be anything over the top dramatic. I’m not suggesting you ditch your job and Eat, Pray, Love your way to inner enlightenment – not yet at least. But a small step can be the perfect catalyst for bigger change.
This week I took another step out of my comfort zone by taking part in an open mic night for the first time since those glory pre-pandemic days. I was so nervous beforehand and if it hadn't been for my lovely friend telling me I had to read a couple of spoken word poems to give her the courage to get up and sing I would have bottled it for sure. But the minute I stepped up to the mic I felt that beautiful sensation of having come home to one of my happiest places.
There's something so inspiring and heart-warming about an open mic. I love the way that anyone can turn up and perform and how it's such a celebration of creative expression purely for the joy of it. I was blown away by the talent on display and the magic that happens when a group of people come together to express themselves through music and poetry.
I was also really moved by the number of my fellow performers who spoke about having to overcome a lot of fear before stepping up to the mic. One guy who blew us all away with his incredible music – so much so, he got three encores – told me that he’d walked past the venue several times before plucking up the courage to come in. If he’d stayed safe in his comfort zone he never would have got to experience the sheer joy his music brought to other people and hear our applause ringing in his ears.
I have an inkling that many of us are like this right now. We’re itching to break out of the comfort zones we created during the pandemic and skirting around our courage zones, trying to find the grit to take that bold first step.
All I can say is that the joy I felt after the open mic night this week was the sweetest reward for being brave. And I hope that reading this has inspired you to do something similar.
What small step could you take this week to move out of your comfort zone? I’d love to hear, so please do feel free to comment or reply to this letter.
And if you know anyone in need of a little courage boost please do share this with them via the button below.
Wishing you a wonder-full and courageous week.
Siobhan