Mysterious blessings

how a stomach virus reminded me that life's greatest gifts often come in disguise

At the risk of turning this Substack into a misery memoir, after last week’s post on my dance-induced meltdown, this week I was struck down by a stomach virus!

Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into the lurid details, other than to say that it left me unable to get out of bed for three whole days.

But bizarrely, this turned out to be a very good thing.

My life and work have been going at full pelt for ages now, and I’ve been bouncing back and forth between London, Brighton and The Village while trying to juggle it all, so something had to give. And that thing it turned out, was my stomach!

Anyway, once I was able to move out of my bathroom and back into my bedroom I stayed there for three days, sipping water and binge-watching Poirot and sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.

And I have to tell you, it felt so damn nice to not have to do anything other than plump up my pillows and fill up my hot water bottle (thanks to good ol’ freezing British springtime!)

On Day Two of the virus, a book I’d ordered from Amazon arrived. It’s called The Wind is my Mother and it’s by a Native American shaman named Bear Heart.

I flicked it open to a random page which happened to be about those times in life when you feel like things just aren’t going your way.

“It seems like we walk uphill, find a little relief, then have to go uphill again … In God’s mysterious way a great blessing, something we had not thought of before, may come in and give us the strength, the guidance we need.”

I sank back on my pillows and contemplated these words, and thought of a couple of times in the last year when this has happened to me.

Times when I’d been struggling with an uphill moment - like my dad getting really sick - but then something truly beautiful happening out of the blue to give me the lift and strength I needed.

And now, when I was teetering on the edge of burnout, I’d been given a virus that forced me to rest.

Mysterious blessings indeed!

And once I came to see my virus as a blessing I had a great old time, helping Poirot solve his mysteries on Netflix, doing a little bit of reading, doing a whole lot of napping and some journaling.

On Day Three I ventured into the kitchen and found a chicken breast, half a lemon and some thyme in the fridge so I made myself a chicken broth, and I’ve got to tell you, after two days of nil by mouth it was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted!

Then I checked my emails and found one from my publisher with the cover design for my next novel. This book is a slight departure for me, in that it isn’t set during World War 2, and so the cover is quite different too. I’m not allowed to reveal it all just yet, but here’s a sneak peek of the corner. Can you guess where it’s set? Hercule Poirot told me to tell you that the clue is in the lavender!

When I wrote back to my editor telling her how much I loved it, she told me that it was by the same woman who designs Fiona Valpy’s covers.

This was such a thrill to discover as Valpy was a huge inspiration to me when I began writing historical and dual timeline fiction six years ago. I can remember feeling so nervous back then, wondering if I had what it took to write in this genre.

But I managed to push my fears about the outcome aside and I focused instead on the things I loved about the process - trawling through history for fascinating, lesser known facts I could share with my readers, creating characters I enjoyed spending time with, and crafting what would hopefully be page-turning plots.

This novel will be my eleventh in six years and each time I’ve adopted the same approach, immersing myself in the joy of the process rather than stressing over the outcome.

Don’t get me wrong - it’s really hard work too, especially now I’m writing more mystery-driven plots, but I love it, and it’s so, so sweet when the pieces all finally come together. When the misshapen first draft is crafted and honed and polished and tightened into a finished piece of art.

And slowly but surely, word by word and book by book, I’ve built a body of work that’s now published in 14 different countries.

Yesterday a memory popped up on my Facebook featuring a quote from the last young adult novel I wrote before making the move into historical fiction for adults.

The novel was about a street artist and a poet who combine creative forces and it was called Clementine and Rudy. I’d been so excited for its launch but the poor book came out right when the pandemic started and we’d just gone into lockdown.

Needless to say, it sank without trace, as people obviously had way more important things to think about back then. So, on top of worrying about covid I felt downhearted and scared, worried that my career as a YA author was effectively over.

And it was.

But it turned out that the universe had another mysterious blessing in store for me, in the form of a surprise request from another publisher, asking me if I’d be interested in writing World War 2 fiction.

I jumped at the chance, even though I’d never thought of writing in this genre before, and the rest, as they say, is history.

It felt like such a lovely full circle moment when I saw the quote from Clementine and Rudy this week. Especially as it came on the day I finally felt virus free, and was able to return to the world of the living.

I’d just received the final draft of my next novel to check, which I always privately refer to as the ‘make it beautiful draft’, trying to ensure that every last detail is as magical and heartfelt as possible before the book goes off to print.

There was such a sweet synchronicity about a line from a novel I’d feared might be my last coming back to inspire me, eleven books and six years later. Such a mysterious blessing.

Little Drops of Joy

I’m afraid my recommendations this week are a little thin on the ground due to my being sick, but I do have a couple for you…

Firstly, the book, The Wind is My Mother, as mentioned previously, especially if you’re interested in Native American wisdom. I haven’t finished it yet but I’m really enjoying the mixture of traditional stories and teachings and how we can apply them to our day to day lives.

Secondly, I’d like to recommend the concept of ordering yourself an Amazon care package. This is something I did when I was bed-bound this week and decided to order myself a few things as a little treat. I chose a book, an energising vitamin C facemask and a tub of lavender-scented body butter. It was so lovely when they were all delivered in a box the following day, and it only cost £15 in total. So I challenge you to do the same. Set yourself a budget of £15 and have fun ordering yourself some simple treats.

And finally, music wise, this week I’ve been playing this track by SI EVOL on repeat as it’s so soothing and I just love the images conjured by the lyrics of sitting round a fire on a beach and breathing in the freedom that comes from being by the sea. You can listen to it here. Enjoy!

Until next week, keep your eyes open for life’s mysterious blessings, and I hope you receive many of them!

Siobhan