Preparing for war and a wedding

Greetings from the UK! My five weeks in Ukraine have sadly come to an end but I know I’ll be back again soon - I have family there now after all, plus some wonderful new friends. And the intensity of the experiences and emotions I’ve had these past few weeks have left me feeling irrevocably bonded to this beautiful country and its warm, brave, resilient people.

My last week in Ukraine really summed up the stark contrasts of life there during the war, and the extreme pendulum swings between love and fear.

In the early hours of Friday morning I found myself taking shelter in my bathroom again (the only room in the apartment without windows) as Lviv came under another Russian attack - this time from drones but mercifully no hypersonic missiles like on Wednesday. 

Here I am in the middle of the night listening to the air defence shooting down the drones (they got all but one of them) and giving thanks to the NATO countries and America who have been providing Ukraine with this life saving weaponry, and of course the Ukrainians who were manning the defences.

And here I am, the following day, just before my son’s wedding. From fear and anger to love and hope, which is the daily rhythm for Ukrainians as every morning, following a fearful night’s sleep broken by air raids, they pick themselves up, dust themselves off and defiantly get on with their day.

The wedding took place in a spa resort in the Zakarpattian mountains - one of the safest places in Ukraine, which has never been bombed.

We all arrived on Friday and spent the weekend in a blissful bubble, free from the fear of night-time air alerts - although I still found myself waking with a start at the slightest sound.

the mountain church where my son got married

About a month ago, at the start of my trip, I interviewed a Ukrainian soldier about his experiences, and I’d like to share what he said with you now as I found it really thought-provoking, especially given the current debate over whether Ukraine should be allowed to fire long range missiles into Russia (targeting the military bases where the deadly strikes against Ukraine are launched from).

For security reasons, I can’t say anything that would give away the soldier’s identity but prior to Russia’s first invasion of Ukraine in 2014, when they occupied Crimea and parts of the Donetsk and Luhansk regions, he taught history in a Ukrainian university. Like so many other Ukrainians, the Russian invasion prompted him to join the army to help try and protect his country. Here’s what he had to say about the ongoing conflict…

“The war in Ukraine has been going on for more than 10 years. More than 10 years of suffering for the Ukrainian people.

I am from the central part of Ukraine. In 2021, I worked in a combat zone in the Luhansk region. I went there of my own free will. I wanted to be useful in the struggle for the independence of my country and the freedom of the Ukrainian people.

Since the beginning of the full-scale Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, I have been performing tasks in the central part of Ukraine. There was a lot of work. I, together with my colleagues, worked with weapons in our hands. We were ready to use weapons against the enemy to defend our country.

After two and a half years of war, the morale of me and my colleagues in the military service is stable and strong. We are ready to fight the enemy as long as it takes for our victory. For this, we are ready to give up the benefits of a peaceful life (rest, travel, etc.). We are motivated by the heroism of Ukrainian soldiers fighting the enemy. We are motivated by the strength of the Ukrainian people, who are ready to fight the enemy for their free life in the future. But of course we are all human and want stability and certainty about the future.

Personally, I am motivated by faith in our victory, faith in a free life in the future. I, like my colleagues, believe that our friends in the world will not leave us alone in the fight against the enemy. I am also motivated by my daughter’s academic success.

I personally, like the entire Ukrainian people, am very grateful to the peoples and governments of all countries that help us fight the enemy. We are especially grateful to the peoples and governments of Great Britain and the United States, who are helping us a lot. Ukraine’s victory is also your victory. The defeat of Ukraine will also be your defeat.

Grant, one of the British defense ministers, very correctly said: “The interwar era is over.” The world has entered the pre-war period. It is necessary to prepare for war.”

The example of Ukraine shows that you need to be ready for war. First of all, morally and psychologically. You need to be ready for sacrifices. It is very difficult. 

It is difficult to be prepared for the loss of your parents, your children, your brothers and sisters, your friends. This is the hardest and scariest thing that can happen. But it is necessary for victory. Belief in victory and readiness for sacrifices and losses for the sake of victory is the most important thing.

Peace to all of us!”

The concept of preparing for war is undoubtedly scary and unnerving. Nobody wants to contemplate the losses entailed and it can be all too easy when you’re not directly involved in a conflict - ie; your country isn’t the one that’s been invaded - to want to bury your head in the sand or look the other way.

But having now spent a good chunk of time in Ukraine and having experienced the terror of nightly rocket and drone attacks on civilian targets I feel strongly that we mustn’t look the other way.

To my way of thinking it’s like looking the other way when a friend is being bullied.

When my son was a child I drove it into him that if he ever saw another kid in his school being bullied he should stand up for them.

When he was about eleven years old he did this, and in doing so, became a target for the bullies himself.

It was a very difficult time and, as his parent, seeing him suffer, I had moments when I wondered if my advice had been right and if maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

But I helped my son through the experience and to this day he remains the type of person who will always stick up for the underdog and I’m certain this played a big part in him choosing to work for a humanitarian organisation in Ukraine, helping victims of the war.

At his wedding his best man gave a moving speech about how much my son had helped him during one of the toughest years of his life. He then turned to my son’s new bride and said, ‘You should know that Jack has a huge heart … he is the best friend a person could wish for,’ which made me feel so grateful and proud.

And when it comes to Ukraine, I want to be the best friend that the Ukrainian people could wish for, both as an individual, and as part of the UK too.

I want my country to be the kind that sticks up for an ally in need, an ally that has been invaded and occupied - even if that means putting ourselves in the firing line too.

Having written 8 books about World War 2, focusing on the heroism of those who fought back against the Nazis, and at great personal risk, it really saddens me that Europe is now facing a similar situation, but I want to take inspiration from the people I’ve written about. I want to do all I can to help Ukraine in their fight for freedom.

As the soldier I interviewed said, a Ukrainian victory would also be ours, but so would their defeat. If Putin wins in Ukraine, all of Europe is at risk.

Over the past year and a half I’ve had a taster of the sacrifices we have to make in order to prepare for war.

I’ve lived with the fear of my son regularly travelling to the east of Ukraine to help those in need right by the frontline. So close at times that he could hear the Russian artillery fire.

I’ve had phone calls with him in bomb shelters in Kyiv as the capital has come under attack. I’ve lived with the fear that one day he might get injured, or worse, but - and this is the important part - I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m so proud that he’s had the courage to put himself in harm’s way in order to help others.

And now, thanks to my latest visit to Ukraine, I’ve experienced multiple air attacks personally - and on my own. I’ve felt the terror of thinking I might be about to die as hypersonic missiles exploded nearby.

Of course, it was only a tiny fraction of what Ukrainians have been experiencing for years, but here’s what I can tell you from my own experience.

Yes, war is scary and hard and depressing, but my god, does it bring out the very best in humanity too.

Over the past five weeks I’ve experienced such a depth to life, such a humbling, and such a shift in perspective, witnessing the grace and courage of a people under fire. And it’s been hugely inspiring.

To quote the Ukrainian soldier, I am ready for the sacrifices and losses that are sometimes sadly necessary to protect our freedom from an invading and occupying force - one that bombs civilian targets on a daily and nightly basis.

I’m ready to stand up for a friend who is being bullied - regardless of what that might personally cost.

Until next week, here’s to looking out for each other, and thank you so much for being part of this community and for the lovely comments and messages you’ve sent me while I’ve been in Ukraine. They’ve really meant the world to me.

Siobhan