Refocus for happiness

Last Sunday, in Ukraine, I met a young man who has been internally displaced.

For those not in the know, ‘internally displaced’ essentially means being made a refugee in your own country.

3.7 million Ukrainians have been internally displaced since the Russian invasion of their country two years ago - forced to flee their home towns and villages, which have now become occupied or are on the front line of the fighting.

The first thing I noticed about the young man I met last Sunday was his smile. It was the kind that shone in his eyes and lit up the room.

He looked so happy I was genuinely shocked when I then discovered he’d been forced to flee his home town two years ago at the age of 16. I know from the work my son is doing for a relief organisation in Ukraine that being displaced due to war can be hugely traumatic.

But this guy chatted away happily to me, telling me that he’d just set up an English speaking club to help others, and himself, learn English.

When he heard that I was a historical novelist he spoke effusively about a YouTube channel he loved to watch featuring history videos, and recommended several of them to me.

I asked him how he’d felt having to leave his home, and his entire life as he knew it, to start again in Lviv.

Once again, his beautiful smile shone, and he talked about how he was really grateful for the opportunities he’d found there, and the new friends he’d made.

I found out afterwards from friends in Lviv that when young people like him first fled to the west of the country there obviously wasn’t enough accommodation to meet the huge demand, so kids and teens were often separated from their families, staying in someone’s spare room, or even in one case I heard about, at the end of a corridor in a church.

It would have been so easy for this young man to dwell upon all he’d lost, but instead he’d chosen to focus on the things he still had. The new opportunities in a new city. The new opportunities to make new friends.

It was a powerful and humbling lesson.

Two days later, I’d moved from Ukraine to Poland and something happened that made me feel really sad.

But then I caught myself in a moment of self-pity and I remembered the young man I’d met. If he could find reasons to be happy as a displaced person in a country at war then I most definitely could too.

Inspired by his bravery and beaming smile, I made myself focus on the positives of my situation instead of the negatives. And within minutes I felt my sadness begin to fade.

I wanted to share this with you because I know we all have moments where we feel down-hearted or down on our luck.

But we always have a choice over what we focus on. Even in the very worst of circumstances.

So this week, I have a little challenge for you. Any time you find your mood dipping and your thoughts darkening, think of the young man from my story, and choose to refocus.

Think of all you still have. All of your reasons to feel lucky.

And speaking of which, here are some of my reasons for feeling very lucky to be in Krakow. And they’re not all just food - the buildings are very nice too! 

If you haven’t been to Krakow before and you’re looking for a very affordable, picturesque, historic and tasty European break, I highly recommend!

Until next week, here’s to remembering to refocus on our blessings.

Siobhan